I just got back from the doctor.

I have foot-in-mouth disease. Apparently it's pretty serious. I get it from my mother's side of the family.

Hang on a sec...

What's that, mom?

I stand corrected. I have HAND, FOOT, AND MOUTH disease. It's not serious. And I don't get it from my mother's side of the family. I probably got it from that little tart at daycare who's always stealing my paci...

I need sponsors

Mom read online yesterday that her favorite mommy blogger makes $40,000 a month (yes, that's right) in advertising revenue on her site. So, what am I doing wrong here that I don't have sponsors? I mean, I'm practically a spokesperson for U of M Tiger basketball. I wear Gymboree clothes like they're going out of style. And have you seen what I can do with that little Fisher Price dump truck?

In an effort to increase my visibility and gain the attention of advertisers, I'm going to start posting weekly product and location reviews. Every Friday. Look for them here. And if you have a place or product that you would like to suggest I check out, shoot me an email and let me know...

I hear the Tigers have openings?

Mommy took me to Tiger Gift Shop today to buy me a new Tiger t-shirt in a big boy size. While we were there, the nice man gave me a FREE tiger basketball! I've come to discover that I have a talent for the game.

Hey, Coach Josh, I understand you have a few openings for the 09-10 season? Check out my lay-up.



Let's talk...

Pop quiz

In the video above I am:

a. having a seizure
b. busting out my dance moves
c. taking bipedalism where it's never gone before
d. learning to walk and enjoying the process

Okay, that was a trick question. The answer is c and d.

Walk this Way

Here is one of many takes. Who does Daddy think he is Steven Spielberg? Anyways Enjoy!

Take A Good Look

Take a good look at my gummy grin in the photo above, because the next time you see me my smile will be entirely different.

I cut my first tooth yesterday. You can't really see it yet because my gums are still so swollen, but you can hear it when I drink from a big people cup and you can feel it if you know where to look.

And in honor of the occasion, my parents have already started instilling me with a healthy fear of the dentist. Because wouldn't you know the second they heard that faint *click* *click* *click* on my glass of water, they reclined my high chair, grabbed the flashlight, and started sticking their fingers in my mouth looking for the culprit. I'm told this is what happens at the dentist. I don't think I'm going to like the dentist.

Snow Day

Yesterday I woke up from my nap to a veritable winter wonderland. Mommy originally decided that it was probably too early (in my life, not in the day) for my first snow outing. First and foremost because I'm battling coming down with another cold. It's there...then it's not...and then it is again. She didn't want to tempt fate.

And then she reasoned that I shouldn't go outside and play in it because I don't have any proper shoes yet. I don't walk anywhere except around the coffee table, and apparently mom read in a book somewhere that non-walkers wearing shoes isn't good, so that settled that.

But after viewing pictures all of her friends' adorable children playing in the snow, she felt the pangs of guilt that come along with denying your child simple pleasures in life. I guess "pleasures" is relative. Because what happened to me was far from pleasant.

First, she started out with a pair of snug fitting jammies and some socks. Not so bad. Then she broke out the stash of "grow into" clothes (um, thanks Aunt Mandy?). She wiggled me into some size 18-24 months jeans and a sweater. Then came the mittens. And the knit cap. And the snow monster jacket. And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, to my shock and horror my mother made me ghetto snow boots. AND TOOK ME OUT IN PUBLIC. I could not make this up. If you don't believe me, check out the picture.



Needless to say, my first real snow was a total downer.

Eight months old...

Yesterday I was eight months old. Can you believe how quickly eight months went by? It seems like yesterday I was a mushy mass that could only blink my eyes for entertainment. But that was then. Now? Now I've got some serious skills.

1. I can crawl. FAST.
2. I can pull up on furniture. Sometimes even gracefully.
3. I'm an accomplished musician.
4. I have a girlfriend (She sits in my lap at school. And I let her).
5. I talk like you wouldn't believe. And I practice different pitches and place emphasis on different syllables of my two syllable utterances just to see how language can sound.
6. I can turn pages in books.
7. I can walk when mommy holds my hands.
8. I can open drawers and cupboards
9. I eat Gerber puffs.

But along with these new skills comes new restrictions. My life is a cacophony of "Mikey, don't touch that." "Mikey, electrical cords aren't toys." "Mikey, you're going to poke your eye out, kid."

It's very frustrating. I'm a big boy now. I'm ready for these challenges in mind if not in body. Have you seen my pants? They've got no snaps! NO SNAPS!

Come to think of it, eight months is a very dramatic age. I'm trapped somewhere between a boy and a man. And I don't like it one bit.

I'm crawling away from home...

...and joining a band.



Thanks for the inspiration, Uncle Chris!

In an unrelated note, I can now pull myself up. I did it for the first time today at school. And then I promptly fell over and banged my head. My pride was more hurt than my head...in front of that cute little blond, too. She still digs me, though. Florence Nightingale effect.

For My Birthday...

I want a box of kittens!




Mom said it was okay.

Sorry for the delay in updating...

but I've been busy fending off the ladies. My Aunt Mandy was here over Christmas and she gave me a new big boy (bad boy?) makeover. She's a professional hair and make-up artist and she works in the industry making people look cool all day long. I guess technically my parents are in the industry, too, but in a much less fabulous way. Obviously, an intervention was needed.

Anyway, this is my new 'do.



She also outfitted me with a whole new wardrobe full of big boy clothes. Shirts with collars! Pants that don't have snaps in the crotch! Can you believe it -- no snaps?!

Mommy hasn't had time to take pictures of me in my new big boy clothes yet because she has morning duty. She can't take photos in the morning. She says her muse is still asleep.

Anyway, the chicks are digging the new me. My class at school has about six boys in it and only one girl...and guess who she trains those baby blues on all day long...yep, that's right. Me. 'Cause I'm cool. Thanks to my Aunt Mandy. Aunt Mandy, you rock!

We have a winner...

We had some great guesses out there. Aunt Barbee guessed "DaDa" which is kinda correct. I've been saying that with some regularity these days, but by "dada" I can mean, "dog," "Aunt Michelle," "leave me alone," or "I like my rubber duck." Aunt Sissy guessed "MaMa"...but I only make noises that approximate that word when I'm screaming. Uncle Bob guessed, "No." What does this word, "No" mean? I suspect it may become a power word in a year or two...

But the winning vote goes to Ms. Margie who correctly guessed, "BaBa" for bottle (and shockingly not "bye bye" which Aunt Mandy tried for days to teach me). To test this theory that I was indeed asking for my bottle and not telling my mom she was late for work and better get going, she hid the bottle -- at which point I screamed "BaBa! BaBa! BaBa!" and beat my hands on my high chair. I think she got my meaning. Sheesh, do I have to spell everything out?

You heard what I said...

I said my first meaningful word today. :) Anyone care to guess what it was? A framed picture of yours truly to all who guess correctly...

MNT, Future Nobel Laureate in Physics

My cousin Ryan got me this thing called a "sippy cup" for Christmas.

Hypothesis: That sippy cup is filled with delicious nectar for me to drink.



Experiment 1: First I'll try to drink from it like a bottle.



Analysis: I lack the required skill set.

Experiment 2: I'll try to beat it against something, like an otter with a mollusk.



Analysis: New plastics are virtually indestructible, unlike mollusks.

Conclusion:

The sippy cup is subject to the forces of gravity, just like the spoon. That still doesn't get that delicious nectar out, though.